Cry Me a Bucket Full
Cry Me a Bucket Full
Ok, so Dad had some unconventional ways of getting his points across, but they must have worked or I wouldn’t remember so many. I can remember being upset about something and crying as a little boy. If it was justified, or reasonable, Dad would console me and try to make me feel better, or perhaps joke with me until I smiled or laughed. But sometimes, when it was mostly just whining, he would stick out his lower lip at me and taunt me with his hands held out and cupped together as he said “Come on! Cry me a bucket full!”
As I said, unconventional, but I got the message. At that time, crying was a waste of time and unproductive. Filling Dad’s imaginary “bucket” with tears would not make things better or fix whatever it was that was hurting my feelings at the time. Sometimes, he and Mother would say other things when we pouted like “You’d better get that lower lip back in or you may trip over it!” Just as a way to say “Oh, get over it. You’re not helping by pouting, whining, and crying. This is not the time for that.”
The bottom line was that they were telling me not to whine and cry when that would not help. There are times to cry. Times when crying will make you feel better, but that’s not what I’m talking about right now.
Recently, a great man, a friend, a brother in Christ, and the father of one of my best friends passed away. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just about two and a half years earlier. He suffered a lot. But he never complained. He always smiled, and always thanked God for what he had and all his wonderful friends, family and employees. One of his top men in his company wrote an excellent article about “50 things” he learned from this great man. One of them was: “Never Complain. Even if you are in great pain and literally dying, don’t complain.” It was an excellent lesson we could all use.
Dad once told me “Don’t tell people when you feel bad. 80% of them don’t care, and the other 20% may actually be GLAD you’re feeling bad!” Well, I know SOME people are sorry that I feel bad, but he’s right, most don’t care, and some probably ARE happy. But the most important thing about not saying it is, it keeps me from staying that way. Telling others how badly you feel only causes you to reinforce the bad feelings, prolonging your agony. It helps you fulfill a prophecy of doom that you pronounce upon yourself.
Zig Ziglar used to say, when people ask “How are you?”, you should ALWAYS answer: “Great!” Even if you feel bad at the time. He said it is not lying, it is telling the truth in advance! By saying you’re great, you actually begin to feel a little better. Thinking about good things, helps you feel better. Helping someone in need helps you feel better. Complimenting others makes you feel better. Repeating affirmations makes you feel better.
In Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he tells them “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Now THAT, will make you feel better.
It sure beats crying a bucket full of tears.