Wizbits From Dad

Over the years, many people have asked how they can handle their lives at the time. Maybe they had questions about their future, or about their past, or what was happening at the time. We all have those horrible feelings of not knowing how to handle the stresses of life and just where we are going. I have felt that way too, at times.

Years ago, I heard a great speaker tell a story that has helped me face things throughout my life, by remembering to concentrate on what is happening now, not tomorrow, or next week. The speaker’s name was Joel Weldon, and I asked if I could include the entire story as he tells it in this wizbit. He graciously agreed, so here it is:

THE WINDING RIVER

The young man had done well during his first two years with the company, but he began to feel anxious. He wasn’t sure where his career would take him, if indeed it would take him anywhere. He wondered what he’d be doing after two more years. He questioned the wisdom of remaining in a job that sometimes seemed more like a treadmill than a staircase.
So he knocked on his manager’s office door and was warmly received. He explained why he was frustrated and asked, “What should I do?”
After a long, thoughtful pause, the manager said, “Imagine a winding river — very swift, but very long. It runs for miles and miles, through a steep-walled canyon. Can you hear the roar of the rapids and see the high cliffs above?”
“Sure,” the young man said.
“Then picture yourself in a small boat, running that river,” the manager continued. “You’ve got your hand on the tiller, so you can avoid the rocks and boulders and the canyon walls. But how far downstream can you see?”
“Not far,” the young man replied, “because the river winds through the canyon.”
“Right,” the manager agreed. “You can only see up to the next bend. And when you get there, you can only see to the next one, and so forth. And that’s where you are now, in that small boat. The river is your life. You can’t see the end! You can only see to the next bend. But I’m flying in an airplane high above, and I can see a beautiful, placid lake at the end of that long winding river! So relax. Don’t let yourself be anxious. Enjoy the trip and do three things starting right now.”
After hearing those three things, the young man immediately felt a great sense of peace. That was over 40 years ago, and the journey has turned out to be much more enjoyable and rewarding than any he could have mapped out for himself.

By the way, that young man’s name was Joel Weldon, and his manager was Mr. Vernon Cavill. 

Here’s what you can do: You can do the three things Vernon said many years ago “as you’re going down the river” which represents your life in that small boat and your current job.

1. Don’t look back. The river of your life runs forward, not back. Learn from your past but don’t focus there—focus ahead.
2. Concentrate on your boat—your present job and whatever it is, do it exceptionally well. Don’t think of the next step in your career. If you do, you’re not focusing on the current job. Be amazing at what you’re doing now!
3. Just make it to the next bend in the river. Don’t focus on the ten, five and one year goals. Focus only on the next 30 days! If you have a long range goal—great! Just divide it up into 30-day goals and take action now! Long range goals can give you direction, but it’s the 30-day goals that produce action. Also, with all the changes in the world, you need to be flexible and adaptable.

So as you go down your own Winding River—relax, enjoy the ride and MAKE it fun!

This story has helped me and many others over time. It makes so much sense to just concentrate on right now and do the best you can on your current job and responsibilities.

Introduction to
Wizbits From Dad™
by Carl Powell III
copyright©2003-2009
www.cp3.com

My parents had a profound effect on me and the way I think. This is no major revelation in itself, but some of the effects are worth sharing. My mother, of course, had a lot to do with how I turned out, and I may write a book about that sometime, but this book focuses on my father. Dad was always vocal about things and many of his sayings really stuck with me. Mother often said these and other things, but (no offense, Mother) this group I’ll share as if they came just from Dad.

Some of the lessons he taught me were obvious, spoken attempts to share a particular piece of information. Others, that were less obvious or non-verbal, sometimes even subliminal, he communicated to me through his actions and attitudes. Lately, I’ve found that in day-to-day conversation with those around me, these “sayings” keep popping up. Often, I catch myself saying: “My Dad used to tell me…” followed by some little bit of wisdom or an anecdote that relates to the current topic. Over the years, as I have begun to witness some of life’s lessons personally, these bits of wisdom or “wizbits” have become even more meaningful to me. When added to my new experiences, they have begun to mold my attitudes and directions in life. The wizbits have become much more than the “one-liners” Dad told me. I think he knew that would happen and intentionally planted these seeds to grow.

This is an attempt to bring those “wizbits” to others. I hope that they will make you smile, help you remember your father with kind regards, and maybe even make you a little wiser.

You only get one chance at a first impression

Recently, my daughter called me about an interview she had to attend. It was not for a job, but was for consideration for an award in school. She is a casual dresser. Always modest, but comfortable in her dress. She’s not a frilly, lacey, show off dresser. So she asked me, “Should I dress up for the interview?”

Well, immediately, I remembered something Dad had told me many times. I don’t know if it was for my first interview, or whether I was meeting someone special, or what, but he told me what I told my daughter: “You only get one chance at a first impression.”

The expression itself is very simple. But you have to realize what it really reveals about the situation. You only meet someone for the first time ONE TIME. After that, there is no way you can go back and change how you looked, how you acted, how you felt (and let that affect the way you acted), or anything you said. It is truly a one-shot deal. You just get that one chance. Then, it’s gone.

Obviously, you should always make the best of any first impression. You see people brushing their hair over, checking their teeth for lipstick smears, looking in the mirror to make sure everything is in place, before meeting a special someone. All good ideas. If you have the opportunity to impress someone, dress for the occasion, stand and sit with excellent posture, use your best manners, answer politely any question that is posed, and above all, remember: You only get one chance…

Whether you rent, or whether you buy, you pay for the space you occupy!

Over the years, Dad has invested in a lot of real estate. Most of which, he wishes he’d kept, but sold right before it took off in value. While I was still living at home, we moved a number of times. We lived in the same house until I was four years old, then moved to Sheffield, Alabama. There, we lived in six different houses before I left for college. Each time we moved, Mother and Dad would try to find something that was more suitable, larger (as the family grew… I have three brothers), better situated, etc. I’m sure he rented at first to find out where we wanted to live, but eventually he would buy a house and keep it for a while, then sell it to move to a larger or better one.

Dad also had a lot of business real estate. He still has some. We had a number of businesses over the years. Each one unique in its needs. Sometimes, he would rent, other times he would buy. But whenever feasible, he would try to buy the property we used in order to grow equity. As I asked him how he decided, and why buy instead of rent, he would tell me: “Whether your rent, or Whether you buy, you PAY for the space you occupy!”

This is still true. Always will be. If you rent from a landlord, you are, in effect, paying his/her payment for them, sometimes a little extra as well. This allows them to finance the property, keep up with repairs, and still show a profit because they also get to deduct the interest on their loan and any costs, plus depreciation. They can actually get a positive cash flow and pay less taxes. It’s good for them.

Sometimes rentals make sense. If you need to find out if you’re in a good location or not, if you’re new to an area, if you’re not sure the business will survive a few years, rental makes great sense. Other times, buying makes more sense.

When you buy, you are building the equity. You make the payment, you get to deduct the interest (for now at least), and one day, perhaps you can sell it and make a lot of money. But you pay the same or a little more for this privilege. Not everyone can do it, but if you can, it makes good sense.

At the time of this writing, there are a number of problems in the real estate market. As a result of the economy, real estate has gone through a crash of sorts and many people have ended up losing their homes in the process. For many years, it has been well established that owning your own home is one of the best ways to save and invest. In fact, for most Americans, that is the only savings they have. It seems that it has always been the best thing you could do for yourself and your family to provide future financial stability. However, in light of recent events, that may no longer be the right decision for all people. For some, during economic downturns, your best bet may well be to rent until things settle and save up for a time when buying makes more sense.

Even in light of the current situation, this wizbit is no less true.

Don’t Straddle The Fence

As kids, Dad would take my brothers and me on lots of hikes. At the time, I thought Dad was a big outdoorsman, and he did like the outdoors and camping and such, but I think now that he took us on hikes because it was fun and it was free. And of course, it tired out the three or four boys he took with him so they could settle down when they returned. I’m sure there were times when Mother must have said in anguish “Would you PLEASE take these wild boys for a hike???”

On many of these hikes, we came across barbed wire fences. After a time, we got pretty good at crossing them. There was always a decision to be made when we approached one, though, as each one was different. First, we had to decide if we could go over, under or through the fence. This depended on how the wires were stretched between the posts, how much room was between them, whether it was a new or old fence, and how strong the fence was (in case we needed to climb over it).

Many times, we would hold part of the fence with our hand, pulling up with all our might, and pushing down on the lower wire with our foot making a nice sized “hole” through which one of our siblings could climb without getting stuck by the barbs. Then, from the other side, brother after brother would hold for the next person in line. Of course, as boys, we would sometimes let go too soon “on accident” and cause spats and screams. It was so much fun! (Another reason Mother didn’t always go with us.)

Of course, the worst was when we tried to climb over the fence and lost our footing and fell onto the barbed wire fence. OUCH! that would hurt! Of course, there was always the threat of having to get a tetnus shot on top of the pain. Double-ouch! At any rate, we soon learned to be VERY Careful around those fences. That’s a lesson you carry with you through life for sure.

Later in my raising, I vaguely remember going to Dad with some decision or another that required me to choose sides or to go one way or the other. Dad reminded me: “Don’t straddle the fence… it will only make your crotch sore!”  Somewhat crude, but how true it is! When you need to decide, the last thing you need to do is try to do both things. You will either get grief from both sides or feel like you’re being torn down the middle. In those situations, you are usually better off to make a decision and move on over to that side. If you see you’ve made the wrong decision, then by all means, go back over the “fence.”  But you have to know that trying to do two things, in opposite directions, is impossible.

Another way of thinking about it is when you are attempting to get on a boat from the dock. You place one foot on the boat and start to move. At that point, you either have to get on the boat or not. If you hesitate, and the boat moves, you’re in the water. Getting on a boat is a decision you commit to. You make your move and keep moving. You can’t be on the dock and on the boat at the same time. Unless the boat is tied securely, and even then, one side moves and the other doesn’t. It’s still not a good position.

Dad’s warning may sound a bit crude and give you thoughts of terrible pain, being dropped onto a barbed wire fence. But that is a good way to remember it. When you straddle the fence, you’re going to make yourself hurt, disappoint others, look like a non-decisive idiot and be the laughing stock of the “brothers” around you who get a good laugh out of your misfortune. Not a pretty picture. Neither is indecision.

At this point, I’m also reminded of Dad’s other Wizbit: ”Do Something, even if it’s wrong!”  and my Wizbit that may be to come: “To not decide, is to decide not to.” Indecision is not a failure to make a decision. It is a decision… to do nothing. It rarely takes you to a successful end.

Make decisions. Choose. Move forward. Be decisive. Be successful. Don’t straddle the fence… it will only make your crotch sore.

Cry Me a Bucket Full

Ok, so Dad had some unconventional ways of getting his points across, but they must have worked or I wouldn’t remember so many. I can remember being upset about something and crying as a little boy. If it was justified, or reasonable, Dad would console me and try to make me feel better, or perhaps joke with me until I smiled or laughed. But sometimes, when it was mostly just whining, he would stick out his lower lip at me and taunt me with his hands held out and cupped together as he said “Come on! Cry me a bucket full!” 

As I said, unconventional, but I got the message. At that time, crying was a waste of time and unproductive. Filling Dad’s imaginary “bucket” with tears would not make things better or fix whatever it was that was hurting my feelings at the time. Sometimes, he and Mother would say other things when we pouted like “You’d better get that lower lip back in or you may trip over it!” Just as a way to say “Oh, get over it. You’re not helping by pouting, whining, and crying. This is not the time for that.”

The bottom line was that they were telling me not to whine and cry when that would not help. There are times to cry. Times when crying will make you feel better, but that’s not what I’m talking about right now.

Recently, a great man, a friend, a brother in Christ, and the father of one of my best friends passed away. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just about two and a half years earlier. He suffered a lot. But he never complained. He always smiled, and always thanked God for what he had and all his wonderful friends, family and employees. One of his top men in his company wrote an excellent article about “50 things” he learned from this great man. One of them was: “Never Complain. Even if you are in great pain and literally dying, don’t complain.” It was an excellent lesson we could all use.

Dad once told me “Don’t tell people when you feel bad. 80% of them don’t care, and the other 20% may actually be GLAD you’re feeling bad!” Well, I know SOME people are sorry that I feel bad, but he’s right, most don’t care, and some probably ARE happy. But the most important thing about not saying it is, it keeps me from staying that way. Telling others how badly you feel only causes you to reinforce the bad feelings, prolonging your agony. It helps you fulfill a prophecy of doom that you pronounce upon yourself.

Zig Ziglar used to say, when people ask “How are you?”, you should ALWAYS answer: “Great!” Even if you feel bad at the time. He said it is not lying, it is telling the truth in advance! By saying you’re great, you actually begin to feel a little better. Thinking about good things, helps you feel better. Helping someone in need helps you feel better. Complimenting others makes you feel better. Repeating affirmations makes you feel better.

In Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he tells them “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Now THAT, will make you feel better.

It sure beats crying a bucket full of tears.

Just Keep on Going to Sunday School

As a small child, every major occurrence seems like a life-or-death situation. As most children, we had our share of what we thought were horrible times where we felt as if we were being hung by a thread over a chasm deep enough to reach the bowels of the earth. Most of these were simply little inconveniences that we needed to work through.

Some of the things that happened to our family included coming home to find our basement flooded; getting called in the middle of the night to say that our boat had sunk; and numerous reports of accidents and health emergencies involving our extended family. Each time, we, as children, were often scared and confused.

In the depths of this fear and confusion, we would turn to Dad and ask: “What are we going to do?” Dad would reach into his past and calmly reply with a phrase he had heard years before and often repeated: “Just keep on going to Sunday School.” At the time, we neither understood nor appreciated this little bit of wisdom and often asked just what he meant.

In further explanation, Dad would tell us that, for the moment, we often could do nothing more than go on with life and trust God. Regardless of the situation, Dad would always look over the damage, consider the options, and go on with the best choice. I cannot remember Dad ever floundering for more than a few moments. I attribute this to his deep trust in God and an understanding that this life is short and everything here will pass.

For as long as I can remember, we went to Sunday School. Some of my earliest memories include the church we attended in Jonesboro, Arkansas until I was four years old. The special aroma of the church building had a savor that I’ve only smelled in other church buildings. I don’t think I remember much about the lessons that were taught during my first four years, but I do remember that I went to class and that the people around me loved me. And although I have not been back to Jonesboro in 15 or 20 years, I know of at least one family there that would take me in as a son if I appeared on their doorstep.

Our family continued to go to Sunday School. And I have tried to keep that “tradition” going in my family as well. For I know that it is through the understanding of God and his will for us that we can make our way through anything.

Often, we look around us and see that we are in dire straits, requiring seemingly impossible accomplishments to make it through. I may sometimes feel like giving up, or screaming, or running away from it all. But deep inside, where it counts, I can hear Dad telling me in a whisper: “Just keep on going to Sunday School,” and I know that, trusting in God, it will be all right.

Everybody Drives a Used Car

Many of the wizbits Dad taught me were about cars. Somehow, in our society, dealing with cars parallels life in many ways. I think that in trying to help me with cars, Dad was working on the way I would deal with other people. (Or, maybe he was just trying to teach me about cars, and I tried to read between the lines.) Some apply to people, some just to cars, but since I will probably deal with both for the rest of my life, I’m glad he taught them to me.  There doesn’t seem to be a pattern to these. Each one was more or less taught to me on its own merit. They are sort of “stand-alone” wizbits.

Before leaving home, I had several vehicles to drive. They included a few bicycles, a mini bike,  a Cushman Truckster (sort of like the mail handlers used to drive), a 1959 English Ford Anglia,  a 1969 Simca GLS (a French Chrysler product), a 1972 AMC Gremlin, and a 1976 Monte Carlo.  Each time I bought a car or traded up, I was careful to check with Dad to see what he could do to guide me. I don’t think he ever steered me wrong, but I also don’t think I always followed his advice either.  Once, probably when I was aching for a brand new Corvette that I could never have afforded,  Dad told me that Everybody drives a used car. He was not belittling others by any means, he was just letting me know that it was OK to drive a used car because, as soon as someone drives off the lot with a brand-spanking-new car… it’s used. So the fact is, EVERYBODY drives one. Maybe mine is a little older than yours, or a little younger, but we all drive used cars.

When Dad told me this, it was probably no consolation.   After all, what teenager wants to hear ANY reason that he can not afford the car of his dreams? It did help me to understand, eventually, what I had to do at the time. I had to buy a used car. Mainly, because that’s all I could afford. However, now I was able do that with my head held high, knowing all along, that the richest man in town drove a used car too.

Now I can reflect back and get even more from this. You can achieve a certain sense of equality here. Understanding that in some small way, we are all the same, sort of, in that we all drive used cars.

Even economically, it just makes sense to buy a used car. Buying a used car allows someone else to take the “battering” in value loss. A new car loses most of its value during the first year of use.

A couple of years ago, I attended a seminar of a well-known economic advisor who was selling his system for achieving financial security and wealth. One of the first things they told us to persuade us to buy into the system was: You should always buy a used car. The instructor went on to tell the reasons: Used cars, even slightly used, can be bought for hundreds even thousands less than their brand new counterparts. Buying a “demonstrator” or “executive” car will even save 10% to 30% off the sticker price. After all, a week later, would you really know the difference? He then added more reasons that concerned financing the new cars for five or six years or more, pointing out that as soon as you drive off the lot, the car is worth about 20% less than it was a few FEET ago. This causes an effect called being “upside-down” in your loan: You owe more than the car is worth!

I bought the “system.” Why shouldn’t I? These guys were as smart as Dad!

The 5 cents Per Mile Rule.

The reason I traded cars from my Simca to the Gremlin was that the driver’s side of the Simca had been destroyed in an accident. (It’s a long story, but it wasn’t my fault, REALLY! Even if I did get the ticket!) So when I sold it, sans doors, for $150 to a guy who was going to make one good car out of two wrecked ones, I felt really bad about losing such a good car when I had paid so dearly for it. (Well, $850 was a lot of money to me then.)

In his usual wisdom, Dad gave me a rule of thumb for finding out if I was getting my money’s worth from my cars: “If you were renting, you’d gladly pay 5¢ per mile for the use of the car, right? Well, determine how many miles you drove it, then multiply that times the 5¢ per mile and see if you’ve come out ahead.” Using this logic, I figured some 20,000 miles or so that I’d driven the car, did some quick math…

20,000 x $0.05 = $1,000.00

and figured out that I would have paid $1000 in this “rent-it” scenario. Having paid only $850 for it, I felt pretty good. I had MADE $150 on the deal, and still sold it for an extra $150, making a total of $300 profit overall! Not bad for a college sophomore.

Today, you could probably use 25¢, 35¢ or even 50¢ or more to do the same calculation for your purposes, or if you really want to feel good, call up the car rental agency and ask what it costs to rent a car like yours. It won’t put money in your pocket, but it will make you feel better about the money that left it.

At this point, you would by now expect some correlation to how many miles you get on another person and how to multiply it times some figure to see how satisfied you should be with your spouse or friend. However, I’ll let you figure your own relationship on this one and save my reputation to get you to read on from here. So, just use this one to feel good about your car.

You Have to Be Willing to Walk off the Lot

When I was driving the Gremlin (boy, I thought I was cool!), I found a car on a lot that I really, really wanted. It was a 1976 blue, two-door Monte Carlo with a landau roof. I looked it over, drove it, fell in love with it, checked with my banker to see what the book price would be, then found out that the used car dealer was asking a little more than I thought he should or than I could afford.

Turning to Dad, I asked for his advice. “You have to be willing to walk off the lot” he told me. I asked him what that meant and he explained. When you buy a used car, the salesperson will always try to get you to buy at a high price first, then if you don’t buy, they will come down on the price to try to get your business. But… not buying is not enough. You have to be willing to leave to show that you are not willing to pay the price.

“But, Dad, I really want this car! What if someone else buys it?” His reply was that sometimes you have to take that chance to get what you want. Occasionally, you miss one, but you get a better deal on the ones you get. So, I walked off the lot. I don’t remember exactly what happened, except that the day or two I waited seemed like one of the longest periods I ever had to endure. Each day, I drove by the lot to see that the car was still there. Finally, we got together and I bought the car.

As it turns out, this is one of the really big tricks to buying a used car. I’ve heard “stories” of people saving big money by walking off the lot and the salesperson calling the next day with the deal of the century. Of course it works, Dad told me it would.

In life, we have to be willing to walk sometimes. This rule seems to apply to not only cars, but jobs, friendships, just about anything in which two people face off. If your salesperson, opponent, friend, boss, whatever, thinks that you will do anything to keep your current position or situation, then they have no reason to change, even if change would be good for them and you. Sometimes, “walking off the lot” allows that person to see themselves, look up the costs, and make a change. Sometimes, it means losing what you had. But if what you had was not good, did you really need it?

I had a dorm roommate in college once who moved out on me. When I asked him why, he said: “You treat me like you think you’re my mother.” Unfortunately, it was true. I was dating a girl at home, traveling the hour and a half each way on the weekends to be with her, and totally abandoning any social life at school.

Whenever my roommate went somewhere, it was like the Spanish Inquisition: “Where are you going?”, “Who are you going with?”, “When will you be back?” My genuine curiosity came across as motherhood.

As he left, he made the statement, “I think we will be better friends if I leave.” I could hardly believe it. By the way… he was right.

When a new roommate was assigned, I was quite a different person, and my ex-roommate and I did become better friends. In my opinion, this method should never be used just to get your way. That just makes you a big baby. Rather, when you can get someone’s attention who is really being unreasonable, and help to make a change for the better, it is a good alternative method. Unlike cars, people require a LOT of love when you deal with them. If you fail to use it, you’ll end up hurting everyone involved.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder;
But Sometimes it’s for Somebody Else!

As I prepared to leave for my freshman year at college, I became quite concerned about leaving my girlfriend at home. As usual, I went to Dad for comfort and support. After telling him about my concerns, Dad had some really important advice for me. With a grin on his face, he said, “Carl, you know what they say: ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder…’, then he added, “…but sometimes it’s for somebody else!”

As you might imagine, this was no great comfort to me and I’m sure Dad “danced” around trying to make a joke out of it. I probably left Dad even more confused and more concerned.

School time came and I went away. My girlfriend and I kept our friendship going with the help of Ma Bell and frequent trips home. In fact, I hardly had a chance to get to know anyone at school because I was always gone on the weekends. By the end of the first semester, however, I wasn’t sure about my feelings for her or about why I wanted to date other girls! By February, she broke up with me. I was crushed. (I crush easily.) I got mad and confronted her. With every reason she gave, I tried to provide a suitable “hole” in her argument. It was too late, however, and no amount of arguing would do. We were history. By this time, we had both found other people we were interested in and our “fondness” had diminished.

Dad was right again. It has been proven over and over again. You may have even experienced a similar situation in your life. It is really quite surprising that more people don’t realize how true this is. The really surprising thing is that when couples are having troubles, one of the first ways they try to remedy the situation is to spend time away from each other! If you watch enough movies, you know this almost never works. Invariably, both parties find someone else to “rebound” to and the original relationship crumbles.

Mother and Dad were married for over 56 years when she passed away. They did have times that they were separated for short periods of time. But when either one had to be gone for very long, they would both try to go. Separate vacations may be the “in” thing from time to time, but real relationships are built when people really try to live with the other person.

Look around you. Is there someone you are trying to be absent from in an attempt to make things better? Don’t bother, it won’t work. Love is not something you feel, love is something you do. If you don’t love someone anymore, make a decision to love them again and do it. When you learn to overlook faults, accept differences and really appreciate the other person, you will have something that can last forever.

Never Ask for a Raise Until You’re Worth More to the Company

Dad and my grandfather owned an electronics business while we were growing up and Dad tried very early to provide us with an opportunity to experience working for someone. I remember working on Saturdays for about 50¢ per day when I was about 10 years old. The work wasn’t hard, we weren’t expected to do a lot, and we usually got a free soda while we were there.

Later, when I was 13, I would ride the bus home from school and work the afternoons at the store, emptying trash, sweeping and generally getting in the way. For my efforts, I was paid well (probably more than I was worth), 40¢ per hour. Working two hours each afternoon and four hours on Saturday, I could earn a full $5.60 per week. I knew I’d be rich soon.

One day, after emptying an extra amount of trash, I went to Dad’s office to ask for a raise. He handled it rather well, as I recall, asking me why I thought I needed one and why he should give me one. When I had trouble answering the questions, he explained that a person could be paid more when they were worth more to the company. Further explaining, he pointed out that when I had a list of reasons that I could provide to him, including skills I had learned or increased productivity, he would consider giving me a raise. So, here’s the wizbit: “Never ask for a raise until you are worth more to the company.”

Leaving his office somewhat disgruntled, but determined, I set out to make the list. Just what I put down on the list, I can’t recall, but I did return to his office later in the week to present my case. After hearing the evidence, I was awarded a full 10¢ per hour raise. It doesn’t sound like much now, (nor did it then) but a 25% increase in pay is nothing to sneeze at!

Dad didn’t always pay me 50¢ an hour. I went to work for him after I finished college and eventually made very good money in commissioned sales. But I never asked for a raise unless I had some reason to back it up. And sometimes I asked for a cut in pay, when I changed positions to something that I knew would be less productive.

Now that I work for a large corporation, I still see the relevance of this rule. I’ve had an opportunity to ask for a raise since I’ve been here, but not without my manager seeing the reasons that backed up my request. Having been an employer, I would advise mangers to look for the added value that employees offer and give occasional small raises to those who show increased productivity and learn additional skills. It means a lot more to an employee to be recognized for increased value than for them to have to ask for the raise and feel that they have gotten it without merit.

To employees, I recommend that you look around you for things that are not getting done, then do them. Your manager will notice, you can include your manager in your enthusiasm and it will pay off. Do not lose faith. You’re much better off doing work that is not appreciated than not doing anything more than is expected of you.

If There’s a Leak in Your Boat, Bail it Out!

As I mentioned, our family had a lot of fun on the river. Dad has always enjoyed having a boat with which to work and play. I don’t remember all the boats Dad has had over the years but at my best count, there were at least seven or eight of them. He had all kinds, from canoes to cruisers. All of them seemed to have one thing in common. They all leaked.

I’m not knocking Dad’s ability to care for a boat. But most of the boats were used when he got them and he inherited the leaks. I’m sure that one or two may have come without leaks, but if you spend much time with boats, you know that whether you have a leak or just get in and out of the boat, you have to bail it out sometime to keep it afloat.

We had all levels of problems with the leaks in these boats. I can remember one night late when the marina called to tell Dad that our boat had SUNK! I imagined the worst with only the top light sticking out of the water, but I’m sure now, it meant that the hull was mostly full of water. Dad and my older brother went out, with pump in hand, to rescue the boat.

Other times, rain or wet boys swimming in the river would get a lot of water in the boat. Dad taught us several ways to bail out a boat. There was the old standby method of a can or milk carton and a lot of elbow work. This is probably what you think of when you think about bailing out a boat. Just get a scoop full or water and throw it over the side. That works well as long as there is more going out than is coming in.

Another method that I found fascinating was to literally pull the plug on the boat and then head out full speed. This allowed all the water to flow to the back of the boat and out the plug hole, assisted by the flow of water that was going under the boat. When the boat was empty, simply re-plug the hole and you could stop again.

Then there was the pump method. Some of the boats we had were complete with bilge pumps. Most larger boats have them. It seems that in the boating industry, leaks are a “given.” You cannot completely prevent them. The best you can do is plan for them and be prepared. Built-in pumps do just that. As a regular part of your maintenance, you turn on the bilge pump before you make every trip in the boat. There is usually some water to be pumped out.

We’re not really all that different from boats, are we? Our lives are full of leaky spots. We fix some of them, others we never know are there. We often find ourselves in need of having our bilge pumped out. Sometimes, we may see others who are in need of the same service. What should we do? Walk away and let them sink? Or should we do the obvious and get to work helping to drain the flood of problems that are drowning that person?

In this case, I really don’t know if Dad was trying to teach me to care for others, or just for boats. Maybe I read more into things than I should. It does seem to me that it makes sense though. A boat cannot be moved through the water efficiently when it needs to be bailed out. It must be bailed out in order to do its job. If left to leak, it will sink and possibly cause deaths in the process for its passengers.

So Dad showed us that if you have a leak in your boat… bail it out! It’s the only way the boat can be functional again. People, too, need the kind attention we would give a boat. So next time you notice a leak, start bailing or turn on the bilge pump! Someone’s life may depend on it.

Measure Twice, Cut Once

Many of the projects Dad and I worked on involved carpentry. I can’t think of anything that Dad wouldn’t undertake. We built doghouses, walls, rooms, buildings, concrete forms, swings, tree houses, bunk beds, offices, workbenches, decks, just about anything you can imagine. On every job, I learned something. Somewhere along the way, Dad began to trust me to do the sawing. If you’ve ever done much sawing, you know this is not a job for an anxious kid. It requires a certain level of skill and a LOT of attention.

On one (or ten, or twelve) of the boards, I made the cut too short. This, of course, made the board pretty much useless for this place, since a board that is too short will not reach to the other side of the space for which it was cut. That’s when Dad encouraged me and taught me to always “measure twice, and cut once.”

He explained that good carpenters (as well as other craftsmen in occupations that have to cut to fit) always make the measurement, check the raw material, measure again (to be sure), make the mark and check the mark, then make the cut. By doing this, they almost always make the cut right. Now, I’m not going to go into some long discussion of how to use a saw. You probably got your fill of that with the hammers. But this method applies to more than just sawing wood.

A lot of other sayings express some of the same sentiment as this one, like “Look before you leap”, “Consider the costs” and others. They all suggest the same thing: you should really be sure about what you are about to do to avoid making mistakes. The converse is true, of course, that if you go to the trouble to make the measurements correctly, you can be absolutely sure before moving on and thus have the confidence it takes to do a job well the first time.

If we would measure twice before we say things to others, we would greatly reduce the number of times that our words fall short. It would allow us to cut down on waste, damaged relationships, and bruised feelings. The resulting relationships would not only fit better, but would be built to last and endure all kinds of stress.

Measuring twice before moving on to a new job, or a new home, or a new spouse, or any number of things, would really help us to know that we were making the right decisions. So next time you size up a situation, be sure to measure it, check your options, then measure it again. It could make all the difference in how well you fit.
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If You Don’t Get it Done Today, it Will Be Here Tomorrow.

When I was a senior in high school, I had a job in the meat market of a local grocery store. This was one of the jobs Dad helped me find through one of his friends. It was a legitimate position working cleanup for the five or six butchers that worked there. I started on a Monday afternoon and my schedule was to work afternoons after school, until 8:00 PM on Thursday and Friday, and all day Saturday.

I had never done this type of work before and found that by Wednesday, the amount of work they had told me to do seemed insurmountable. With each additional item I was asked to do, my attitude and depression got worse. By the end of the day on Wednesday, I was ready to quit.

I got off at 5:00 PM and Dad’s business was open until 5:30, so I went straight from work to see Dad and to tell him that I just couldn’t do it. In tears I went to his office to give him the bad news. Dad asked me to close the door, let me tell him what was wrong, then told me the following story. “Carl, when I was a little older than you, I had a job working as a worker on a construction site. The work was very hard, moving brick and mud, cleaning up, and working as a general “go-fer.” I tried very hard to do a good job, often overworking myself in an attempt to get it all done. Some days, I worked too hard and I was wearing myself out.

“One of the workers noticed how hard I was working and took me aside. He told me that I was working so hard that I would soon be worthless if I kept up that pace. He then suggested that I slow down just a little, pacing myself, and just do whatever I could do that day. If there was still work left to do at the end of the day, it would still be there tomorrow and we could get it done then.”

Dad then emphasized it by telling me, “If you don’t get it done today, it will be there tomorrow. And if it’s really important that it be done today, if you have worked hard and well, the others will pitch in and help you get it done.” I had never looked at it that way before. After Dad’s explanation, I felt better. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted this job, but he had convinced me to try again. The next morning, I had a new outlook on life. By that afternoon, I was feeling great. I listened to my favorite rock and roll tape on to way to work and was still rockin’ when I started in on the insurmountable tasks that awaited me. The people in the meat market were amazed at my transformation. Just yesterday, they had a helper with a depressed, bad attitude, who was slamming pans and growling at everyone. Now, before them stood a new man. Excited about life and all it held, I went about my work with a vigor and vitality that they had not seen.

Dad was correct. I was able to do most of the work by putting forth a good effort. The remaining work was either done the following day, or someone would pitch in and help me get it done. I later found out that my predecessor was not as ambitious as I and often left important jobs undone for days at a time. Even from the first I was doing a better job, but I felt inadequate. Don’t assume you’re doing a bad job, just do the best you can. If you can’t get it done today… it will be here tomorrow.